lets get married!!! haha.

Ehmm. Kahwin. Bernikah. Menjadi seorang ibu? atau suri rumah? Jaga anak, kemas rumah, jaga keperluan suami, pastu kalau sempat urus keperluan diri sendiri. wuish banyak gila tanggungjawab. Ready for that? Live that life without bringing troubles to other people? Tiba-tiba jak muncul pasal topik ni. What's the season now, getting married at a ripe age of 23? that's the latest trend I guess. But there's nothing wrong with getting married when you are seriously prepared mentally, physically, emotionally, and not to forget financially. Go on live your life to the fullest if you can find a working guy as your husband. But the thing is, are you really ready for this? Need to see all of this in a big picture.Completing house chores while you need to cover all the topics for exams, frankly if this is given to me I am 110% sure I won't be able to do it. Not to mention arguments and and misunderstandings. Unsettled arguments before you go to bed would be painful enough to make you bleed you heart out. Things are not the same as they used to be when you're dating. He pissed you off, all you need to do is show him some water works (hey I mean cry a little bit) and there you go he instantly tries to win your heart back at any cost. What a wonderful situation. Honeymoon phase. It's totally different when you are both husband and wife. You have nowhere to run. What will happen if your attitude is too nerve wrecking and he totally snapped out of it? ever heard of divorce? of course that's the last thing you want to happen in your marriage. My point is, do you really think you're matured enough to go through all of these? Congratulation for people who do think they can make it. But for me, as a reminder for myself, I won't take this as a game. Marriage is a huge decision to make in your life. No offense to people who will be tying the knot soon, I wish you guys the very best of luck in the future. It's just that....all these commotions sort of make me feel like I need to make a change in my life, because these stuffs constantly remind me of the responsibility of being a full-fledged adult. It actually freaks me out. No more childish acts or thoughts....just serious matters. I've just finished reading what I've been typing....and I hate to say that boy I sounded so damn melancholic!! I just wanna express my thoughts and it turned out to be like some kind of a lamentation from a depressed person? hmmm......anyways just think carefully before you make a decision and don't rush things up!! kalau tersilap beli mangga yang masam, boleh beli mangga baru yang lebih manis contohnya Harumanis tapi kalau dah silap langkah dalam hidup, it's quite hard to fix, you see. I will try to keep on reminding myself about this.Till then, Happy Saturday.

berasa agak insecure & kurang tenang

hmm...sebenarnya mau cakap pasal kolej ak....recently I've read about one article stating that my college appointed several celebrities to be their representative/ spokesperson...the first thought of mine was like 'what the...?' I can't even see the purpose of this action....tiba2 ak rasa macam belajar dalam akademi fantasia pulak....perlukah ambil artis untuk jadi duta? ak x nampak any benefit melainkan untuk meraih publisiti murahan semata2....strategy bisnes la katakan...pelik....kalau mo cakap kebajikan kami sebagai student di sini sangat terpelihara, x jugak....banyak kali terpaksa berdepan dengan problem akibat management yang agak....x efektif & last minit. I think doing unnecessary stuffs is their expertise...they might have a PhD in those kind of thing. satu demi satu la hal2 yang xberfaedah diorg buat. xpaham betul....pelik tapi benar...too much flaws in their system to the extend that they can't be concealed anymore. aku takut 1 hari nanti ada hal buruk yang jadi pada kami semua....tiba2 x eligible to practice as a doctor....ak mo watpa time tu...? mo start balek from ground zero..? gilaka apa? mo jadi penyanyi gakla pastu tunggu dilantik jadi duta untuk certain university pulak. ataupun jadi pelukis manga/komik..atau bukak kedai bunga or roti. emm apa lagi ya cita2 ak..? jadi translator atau anything to do with language. ak sukak language...hehehe bahasa cina or jepun. haha...bukak kedai pet ka....hmmphhh. Ya Allah mudah2an ak sempat jadi doktor.....because I don't even have a convincing plan B to live the rest of my life. Orang cakap balek kampung tanam jagung (kalau mau tanam kelapa sawit ok x sebab lagi banyak duit hehe) atau kahwin terus (the latter one seems more promising ahahahaha). Tidakkk.......!!!

recall your near death experience.do you even have any?

hehe. tiba-tiba rasa mo update blog. memang sindrom update blog akan melanda setiap kali after exam. xkirala apa jenis exam pun hehe. emm secara random tiba2 ak terfikir dulu time kecik ak banyak kali mengalami saat2 getir yang bahaya. But maybe I was too young to realize about it back then. (warning: penggunaan bahasa Tawau yang sangat pekat....in order to describe the situation better....hehehe)

1. Ak hampir lemas. Serious hampir2 byebye. time darjah 6....dalam swimming pool lagi tu. haha xsedar diri pendek mau jugak masok dalam pool yang dalam 1.7m. walaupun xdala dalam sangat tapi kalau sudah xpandai berenang memang bahaya la. First2 tu ak rasa kaki ak xcapai dasar pool tu, lepas tu memang tenggelam la...ak buka mata dalam air....ak try struggle ke tepi sebab macam nampak ada tangga dekat2 tu....tapi xtau napa rasa badan statik n xgerak langsung. hmmm mulalah all thoughts of hantu air tarik kaki popped out in my mind. Aaaaa memang panik time tu sebab rasa cam mo abis bekalan nafas suda hahaha apakah penggunaan bahasa ini...ak ingat ak lemas la ni (seorang murid darjah 6 dijumpai terapung di kolam renang blablablaa hehe)..nasib baik ada kawan ak yang main2 dekat tangga pool tu...ak dengan lincah la menarik bajunya...dia ketawa2 lagi ingatkan ak mo main2 ngan dia....tapi memang dia penyelamat la...terus balek bilik dengan muka pucat...hehe seraaaaam.sawan orang bilang.hehee

2. Satu malam yang sedang hujan lebat, ak terbangun n rasa mau g toilet (ui cerita hantu la bha ni kan hehe). pastu kalau kita on lampu toilet tu kan mesti lampu tu cam kelip2 dulu kan kira cam gelap2 lagi la...ak pun masok jak toilet tu...sekali time lampu betul2 da on, baru ak perasan tepi kaki ak ada seekor lipan bara hensem yang sangat besar...besaaaaaar gilaaaaaaaa macam gabungan dua jari kelingking.pastu panjang dalam lebi kurang 15cm. uikk detail gila cara ak describe macam sempat ukur jak. tapi itula lipan paling obese n gemuk yang pernah jumpa. Kalau digigit tu nescaya innalillah la kali. kalau x pun memang merana la masok hospital. warna dia macam merah coklat. huuu just thinking about it gives me goosebumps.seraam seraaaaam. pastu pakcik ak dengan machonya menangkap lipan tersebut & beliau (lipan tu la) dimasukkan ke dalam botol coca-cola yang kosong. hehehehee.

3. Dulu2 time kecik ak sangat hyperactive nakal and sangat 'Dora the Explorer'. apa x, semua pelusuk hutan sekunder belakang rumah ak terokai. maybe sebab tu ak suka tumbuh-tumbuhan eh apa kaitan. tapi ada one time tu ak p main2 and tiba2 tergelincir. ak sempat berpaut dengan bushes tapi tengok2 bushes tu berakar serabut. kan dulu time belajar sains form 3 akar serabut grip dia lebih lemah compared to akar tunjang. hehehe sempat lagi tu pikir pasal mekanisme. kira akar tu macam semakin tercabut la.kepala ak betul2 di bawah...ak tengok bawah ak ada batu2 tajam n besar...kira kalau jatuh memang terhempas (terbentur hahahaha) di batu2 tu...terus ak jerit2 nama adek sepupu ak nasib baik dia dengar...jadi kali ni dialah penyelamat ak n tarik ak naik....huuu jasamu dikenang......

heheheh so far tu jak yang berjaya ak recall...yang lain2 maybe x significant....thank God I'm still alive.... =)

musuh dalam selimut. api dalam sekam. dan yang sewaktu dengannya

certain people they would do anything to see you suffer. xboleh tengok ko senang sikit. kalau ko happy2 and doing just fine, ada jak benda yang dorang mau kecoh2kan and report to orang lain. cakap ini lah itu lah. end up nanti ko kena marah padahal u dont even know apa salah ko. ak xpaham motif orang begitu. why? are u jealous of me? ko dengki ngan ak? well, keep on doing it. because u make me even more popular every time u bitch about me.Gila.go get a life. so this is what you've been doing? add me up on FB, go on stalking my life, so u can make a complete 'report' about me to my parent? even though it is some kind of wicked twisted 'report'? congratulations. u've passed with flying colors.Go rot in hell.