Day 15 (ntah hari ke brapa suda ni haha)- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play (actually bkn iPod...it's just my beloved Sony MP4 player..hehe)

ehehehe sebab xtau mo tulis apa untuk update benda ni....macam ada sarang labah2 n lumut2 ijau time ak bukak blog ni....terabai begitu sahaja...macam projek hostel ak yg terabai....janji mo siap by 2006....hahahahaa abaikan apa yg ak ckp td...ok2 here it goes.....

1. *~Asterisk~ by Orange Range (Bleach OST)

orange range

2. It's Over by John Legend feat. Kanye West

pic John Legend only..sbb ak geli ngan kanye west..eheheh

3. Viva La Vida by Coldplay

been loving coldplay since 2002. believe it or not..? with the song 'In My Place'

4. Misery by Maroon 5

I've been a die hard fan of Maroon 5 since 'This Love' first debuted...!

5. Zetsubou Billy by Maximum the Hormone (Death Note OST)

Light Yagami..i love L though...expect hard rock tunes from this song...

6. Song For... by Rookiez is Punk'd (Bleach OST)

Bleach OST occupied most of the space in my MP4..hehe

7. Purple Line by TVXQ

my changmin & jaejoong!!!hehehe

8. Bintang Di Syurga by Peterpan

lets forget about Ariel's scandal for a moment..they've made such good songs..!

9. Miss Independent by Ne-Yo

how can I forget my neyo..?hehe

10. I Hope by FT Island

my HongKi is waaay too cute...! his voice is awesome too..!

hee tiba2 berasa malu dengan list2 lagu dlm mp4 sendiri...kalau pasang lagu2 ni dlm kreta mr. panda mesti dia mngamok....sbb taste lagu kami mmg xsama...dia suka lagu2 yg tenang & smooth (bak kata dia lagu2 org matang)...dia migrain kalau dengar lagu ak..xpaham maksud (korea & japan) n music jiwa kacau....bukan main agy condemn citarasa music ak kan...hahaha xpala bagi can sama si kawan...kena mintak permission dulu ni if mau psg lagu2 bgini dlm kreta...huwaaarghhh

hmmmm. saja mau update. hehe

yeaay! hari ni ak baru abis exam. exam for internal medicine posting...which was quite stressful for all of us sebab bagi budak2 internal medicine, this is the 1st exam since start clinical years ni...hehe posting paling lama..3 bulan! orang lain da siap exam 2-3x lagi...heheh anyway harap2 semua ok n lulus... amin! study punyalah macam mau mati....yala sebab semua penyakit masok kan...argghhh macam zombie jak...makan pun mintak kawan tapau nasi campur sebab xda semangat mo keluar...hehe tiba2 si kai g send pic meatball ngan ak di FB...arghhh sungguh kejam...tapi baca2 pun macam xmasok ja....well this is the result of last minute studying....memang susah mo lekat...eleh kalau baca awal2 pun xingat gak...rasa macam bocor otak...pernahka rasa bocor otak?hahaha ingat belon ka mau bocor2...tapi banyak sangat laaa...ok better stop before ak merepek dengan lebih lanjut..hmm...Patient ak kali ni sakit jantung (CHF), darah tinggi (hypertension), kencing manis (DM)....kesian....rasa sedih kalau nampak makcik2 sakit begini....dia pun merelakan jak ak check2 dia....mata dia da kabur2...dia cakap tengok orang pun macam bayang2....yang lagi membuatkan ak sedih, husband dia da meninggal...anak pun xda...adik beradik xda....skrg tinggal menumpang ngan jiran....dia masok hospital sebab dia terjatuh time wat kerja rumah...sampai fracture tulang tangan kanan dia...kesian gila...tapi makcik tu senyum jak...ak xtaula makcik tu betul2 xda anak or anak dia xpedulikan dia...tapi...ak rasa sedih gila bagi pihak makcik tu...imagine that one day when u grow older..xda org mau jaga...sakit semua pun sendiri2....sedih betul.....ak just mampu usap2 belakang makcik tu..bagi dia rasa tenang semua...umur dia da 68 tahun...terhilang sekejap nervous untuk exam...tangan dia bengkak....due to edema...hmm harap2 makcik cepat sembuh...amin... :'(

sedih.....i hope i have someone to grow old with... :'(

okay, pastu skrg mo cerita pasal my bro...he's getting married next month...and i am going back to tawau to attend the wedding....to be frank, I'm not so happy with this....I just couldn't  elaborate much about it...it really stabs me in the heart...the best I could do is just pray for his happiness....he has his own life to live....ntahla....ak rasa cam agak annoyed...but what to do...that's his choice...tapi for sure, ak just excited and happy sebab dapat balek tawau and meet up with my siblings....being with your family is the best feeling ever! ambil semangat untuk teruskan clinical years yang super busy and byk cabaran ni....jauh bha tu tawau...bukan selalu boleh balek....the price of flight tickets are way too expensive, expensive enough to burn a big hole in your pocket...huwaaa.....alamak....pastu kena figure out ways to minimize my phobia utk naik flight....aduhaiiii..xpala....can't wait to meet my babies...! my beloved nieces and nephews!!

apakah motif pic ni..? very implicit...ahahaha

then....i wanna talk about my obsession towards anime/manga. hahahaha....sejak bila ya ak gila ngan manga/anime? sejak kecik agy!!! dulu gila ngan doraemon (still do!) , pastu dragon ball....dr. slump....shin chan....rave...gensomaden saiyuki...GTO....apa ntah agy.....then currently One Piece, Naruto, Fairy tail.....and yang paling paliiing obses is BLEACH!! hahahaha childish ka ak? atau ni normal? sangat normal kan...pelukis manga tu pun bukannya budak2....for example Tite Kubo (Bleach author) tu full-fledged adult kot. hehehehe ak xtau la....kalau tengok anime ni...ak rasa cam masok dalam dunia lain...uishh don't refer me to psychiatry please...hehe..rasa cam best and boleh imagine banyak benda......hilang stress semua....sebab ak xlayan benda lain...movie, tv shows...semua ak xminat...memang minat ngan anime gak...lately ni sangat bound to Kpop and Jpop musics...ak sangat2 teringin belajar bahasa jepun...yesss that's what i'm gonna do....nanti if ada masa lapang mo belajarla...hehehe....but it makes me wonder.....adakah ak sempat tengok ending of semua manga2 ni..? sebelum ak mati or pelukis2 manga ni mati..? hahahaha misteri nusantara betul...mestila sempat kan...oklaaa merepek jak ni......update lain kali k.....(padahal paling jarang da mo update blog ni...hehe)

Bleach- Ichigo & Orihime.. <3 <3

missing her.... :(

ak rindu gila ngan mami....rindu talampau smpai rasa mau menangis...ak teringat mami kalau ak rasa cm hilang..jiwa kacau...kalau mami ada mesti dia dapat tenangkan ak...ak xtaula...masok tahun ni suda 9 tahun mami mninggal...ak sayang mami...ak salu masok hospital n tengok org yg sakit buah pinggang n darah tinggi...exactly like my mami...ak sedih...ak tringin pusing balek masa n jaga mamiku sedaya upaya...dulu waktu dia sakit ak xbyk jaga dia...waktu tu ak baru 13 tahun...apa yg ak patut buat?ak sedih betul...betapa byk benda yg ak missed out just because i dont have a mother at this stage of my life..Ak hilang purpose,ak balek rumah xda org utk dipeluk n my heart seems like wandering around, it can't find it's way home...my heart lives in my mother's heart...i badly need her...bila ak susah hati,jiwa kacau,confirm dia dapat tenangkan hatiku..my sis n bro got their own life to live...mnada masa mau peduli psl ak...ak xtawla...ak sgt2 rindu mami..but thinking at d bright side,ak syukur Allah ambil mami sbb i cant even think of all the sufferings that she had been through for the rest of her life...rest in peace Hajah Siti Rahmatia binti Rajanna (27 Sept 1956- 9 Jan 2002)...i love u forever...i wish i can see u n hear ur voice again...even in my dreams...al-fatihah

ordinary people

Ordinary People lyrics

[Verse 1]

Girl im in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday

[Bridge]

I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

[Verse 2]

This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss then we make up on the way

[Bridge]

I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
[- From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/j/john-legend-lyrics/ordinary-people-lyrics.html -]
As our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

[Verse 3]

Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
maybe you'll return
Maybe another fight
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know baby youuuu and I

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Heyyy)
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

this song really hits me right on the bull's eye....

si lidah berduri macam durian

dia cakap salah sikit, terasa. dia ejek sikit, terasa. dia condemn sikit, terasa. dia ckp kasar sikit, terasa. auuuuuuuuuuuuuu. sapa yg salah sekarang? aku atau dia? napa ak cepat betul terasa? kadang2 ak terasa ngan benda2 yg org ckp, xkiralah straight forward or implicitly. secara tersurat or tersirat. sarcastic or x. ya I admit that I lack of the ability to counter-attack. org ckp jahat2 and kurang ajar ngan ak, ak just terdiam n maybe I did try a lil bit to fight back, but eventually it's futile. people out there are fully equipped with laser/razor-blade/spiky sharp tongue. sharp enough to cut u till u bleed ur heart out. or either way I hope I could invent a special filter that I can put inside my ears so I can filter all the harmful words before they can be processed inside my brain. kadang2, ak tpikir, napa org boleh cakap dengan kasar n mnyakitkan hati ya? kdg2 xpaham, knapa kita terpaksa berhadapan ngan org yg PMS? do u even put a big signboard on ur forehead telling people that u're not in a good mood today? so people will be more cautious when dealing with you? bullshit! yang tiba2 meletup xtentu pasal? apa salahku? napa ak yg kena tanggung tempias gunung berapi dari these kinda people? adakah ak ni tunggul kayu or almari baju yg xberperasaan smpai ada org mo ckp kasar2 ngan ak? ak ni tmpat melepaskan kemarahan ka? xboleh cakap bagus sikit? ur little temper can ruin my whole day. I'm hot headed too, but at least ak xmelempiaskan temper ak ngan org lain. bad words can snatch away people's bubbly mood. bagus lagi berkurung or diam2 di dalam kotak drpd terpaksa kena sindiran yang maha sarcastic. sila lah cakap bagus2 and please do filter your words before you even spit them outta ur mouth.

macam mana baru x mnyusahkan org?

 kamu pernah ka dicakap menyusahkan hidup org? apa perasaannya? rasa sedih ka? or mcm mana? how to get rid of these feeling? kalau dah rasa bengang n terkilan sebab dicakap mnyusahkan...? hidup yang perlu meminta bantuan drpd org lain...sebab tu la ak xsabar mau kerja...guna hasil titik peluh sendiri sara hidup...xpayah mengharap dari org lain lagi...berdikari so pasni xnyusahkan org lain da..jangan banding hidup dengan org lain...kdg2 org di sekeliling kita, drg lebih bertuah...ada parents yg care n sayang ngan drg....kalau mau compare kasih syg parents n siblings....jauh beza...sbb sibling, diorg ada life drg sendiri...they got their own life to handle and most definitely their priority is not you....kalau parents....kita lah segala2nya.....so, xpayah sedih or terkilan kalau hari ni kita kurang dpt perhatian drpd drg...inilah masanya kita buktikan pd drg, kita boleh hidup sendiri with the least of their help....sabar.....caci maki tu hanya sementara....semuanya perlu in order for you to gain  back ur glory....sabar n byk2 doa! ini bukan mau sindir sapa2...in case there's someone reading this and feel kinda offended..ini cuma peringatan utk diri sendiri n kata2 semangat supaya hati ini xterkilan betul....what the heck this is my own fuckin' blog so I have the liberty to write whatever I want....! (berasa stress dengan org yg terasa xtentu pasal...hey wake up dude, the world doesn't revolve around you)

aku suda x sejiwang dulu + doctor to be punya kerisauan

haha. random. sebab si kai bebel ak aritu suru ak update blog, jadi ak update la. hehe tp topik yg previous tu lgsg la diabaikan ya. hahaha paling suda tu. blog ini akan ditulis time kebosanan melanda n time sudah penat main fb, xda manga baru keluar, and penat main the sims, so basically tulis blog ni is my last choice utk membazir masaku yg sudah sedia terbazir ni. hee.
Aritu kan, ak selongkar satu tin besar yg mr. panda ku simpan. ak tgk2la kan...rupanya dlm tu dia simpan suma surat2 yg ak pena bagi dia. ak try la baca2 apa yg ak pena tulis dulu. darilah 13th month kapel suma. paling mau muntah suda ak baca ayatku. ADAKAH AKU SEJIWANG INI DULU?? kejamnya kan. hehe mmgla ak ikhlas bha time meluahkan prasaanku dulu tu. it's just that, compared to 3 years ago, I express my feelings not by words nowadays. cesss. alasan bertubi2. patutla mr. panda salu complain dia kurang kasih syg. hahaha. tp kan ak pun rasa kagum napa ak boleh rs geli ngan words ku sendiri ya. kilik!! skunk suma main sms n call terus jak kan...x cam dolu2 siap main tulis2 surat agy kunun. aduiii sedangkan ak sndiri baca pun mau muntah ijau, bygkan klu org len baca? harus disembunyikan bahan bukti ini. lalalala neway i lebyew owez mr panda.
ni mo lari dari topik sikit. tringat topik ni time suda halfway membebel di atas, pastu xda idea utk tukar tajuk post. one of my nephew is not feeling well. pastu kakak ak pun consult la ngan ak. haaa baru mau kelam kabut baca psl measles semua. hasil drpd pmbacaan ak, kerumut= campak. adakah betul? sbb org klu d tawau mesti ckp kerumut.jadi ak pun assume la kerumut= campak= measles. so ak pun bacala psl management of measles n ak pun compose la sms panjang gila utk kakak ak regarding measles treatment. haizzz this kinda situation makes me wonder...am i gonna be a good doctor in the future? baru dpat soalan cket suda mnggelabah n takut n seram n swaktu dgnnya. klu kwn2 tnya psl medical problems pun sbnrnya ak rs seram gk. takut xdpt jwb ngan betul...but hopefully apa yg ak bgtaw drg tu dpt mbantu sedikit sebanyak la....at least pun put their mind at ease so they'll stop worrying. tapi ak salu suru drg jmpa doctor gk sbb they wont be able to get any medication from me! ak cuma bole bagi advice n knowledge jak...yala im still a medical student bha. but i'm glad they turned to me and seek help from me...rasa cm boleh berbakti gak.huhu....jadi kesimpulannya ak mesti blajar bagus2 jadi ak boleh tolong org2 ramai...aiii betul2 lari topik bha tp xpalaaaa! babaiiiii.
p/s: wondering what's the correlation between the 1st n 2nd topic? I have no idea myself! I sucked at organizing my thoughts, they all just came out altogether!!!