aku suda x sejiwang dulu + doctor to be punya kerisauan

haha. random. sebab si kai bebel ak aritu suru ak update blog, jadi ak update la. hehe tp topik yg previous tu lgsg la diabaikan ya. hahaha paling suda tu. blog ini akan ditulis time kebosanan melanda n time sudah penat main fb, xda manga baru keluar, and penat main the sims, so basically tulis blog ni is my last choice utk membazir masaku yg sudah sedia terbazir ni. hee.
Aritu kan, ak selongkar satu tin besar yg mr. panda ku simpan. ak tgk2la kan...rupanya dlm tu dia simpan suma surat2 yg ak pena bagi dia. ak try la baca2 apa yg ak pena tulis dulu. darilah 13th month kapel suma. paling mau muntah suda ak baca ayatku. ADAKAH AKU SEJIWANG INI DULU?? kejamnya kan. hehe mmgla ak ikhlas bha time meluahkan prasaanku dulu tu. it's just that, compared to 3 years ago, I express my feelings not by words nowadays. cesss. alasan bertubi2. patutla mr. panda salu complain dia kurang kasih syg. hahaha. tp kan ak pun rasa kagum napa ak boleh rs geli ngan words ku sendiri ya. kilik!! skunk suma main sms n call terus jak kan...x cam dolu2 siap main tulis2 surat agy kunun. aduiii sedangkan ak sndiri baca pun mau muntah ijau, bygkan klu org len baca? harus disembunyikan bahan bukti ini. lalalala neway i lebyew owez mr panda.
ni mo lari dari topik sikit. tringat topik ni time suda halfway membebel di atas, pastu xda idea utk tukar tajuk post. one of my nephew is not feeling well. pastu kakak ak pun consult la ngan ak. haaa baru mau kelam kabut baca psl measles semua. hasil drpd pmbacaan ak, kerumut= campak. adakah betul? sbb org klu d tawau mesti ckp kerumut.jadi ak pun assume la kerumut= campak= measles. so ak pun bacala psl management of measles n ak pun compose la sms panjang gila utk kakak ak regarding measles treatment. haizzz this kinda situation makes me wonder...am i gonna be a good doctor in the future? baru dpat soalan cket suda mnggelabah n takut n seram n swaktu dgnnya. klu kwn2 tnya psl medical problems pun sbnrnya ak rs seram gk. takut xdpt jwb ngan betul...but hopefully apa yg ak bgtaw drg tu dpt mbantu sedikit sebanyak la....at least pun put their mind at ease so they'll stop worrying. tapi ak salu suru drg jmpa doctor gk sbb they wont be able to get any medication from me! ak cuma bole bagi advice n knowledge jak...yala im still a medical student bha. but i'm glad they turned to me and seek help from me...rasa cm boleh berbakti gak.huhu....jadi kesimpulannya ak mesti blajar bagus2 jadi ak boleh tolong org2 ramai...aiii betul2 lari topik bha tp xpalaaaa! babaiiiii.
p/s: wondering what's the correlation between the 1st n 2nd topic? I have no idea myself! I sucked at organizing my thoughts, they all just came out altogether!!!

topik yang ak caplok dari blog si kai! hehee =)

again xda kaitan ngan post ak. very random choice of pic to be embedded with this post

ngee. seperi yg tertera di atas, ak caplok/curik benda ni when i was stalking kai's blog. (her blog is one of my fav! hehee kai xpayah kembang tendang ko sana. =P) macam best ja benda2 yang dia tanya dalam challenge ni. yala teda org mo tag ak ni si beginner novice amateur pffft. hehe...tapi 30-days challenge ni xsemestinya continuous kan??ahhh peduliklaa sana..i will start answering the questions later on!! (when i got free time of course) =)


Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your Blog name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Your favorite song.

Packing, Moving Out, Departure, Arrival

bibik & majikan (me & kak asma carrying baby hannan)

Packing. kamu pandai packing? lipat suma baju kecik2 or sumbat jak dalam beg sesedap rasa? cause I'll be needing that skill soon when I go back to Penang besok. Tetiba laa kan admin ku yang baik hati, sentiasa setia menyusahkan idup kami sebagai student dengan cara yang paling creative possible...they gave us a short notice telling us to move out from our current house. padahal kami akan start clinical on Monday. how on earth do they expect us to clear out all our stuffs by Monday? $%#@&*%$! haiii memangla kan kalau ak ada kawan2 sanak saudara jiran tetangga anak kucing etc memang ak xrekemen la bernaung ngan A*MS ni. sangat-very-the menyusahkan hidup!

Ak ni memang ada masalah when it comes to packing. haizzz. there's one time I was surrounded by piles of stuffs, and I ended up staring at those stuffs doing nothing for about an hour. It was like my brain stopped functioning for a while. sangat blur and xtaw cmna mo handle barang2 yg betimbun. then last2 stress n xmau packing. pastu kena marah/auuum oleh Mr. Panda. Adehhhh susahnyaaaaa! rasa cam mau import jak kawan2ku yang hebat packing macam c erna, kai, alen utk lend me a hand. tolooonggg tolooong!! dulu2 time d mrsm pun kalau ak xsilap erna yang tolong ak packing. wuuuu rinduuu.... =_= waktu d matriks pun kalau ak xsilap erna n alen tlg ak. macam kakak2 bha drg...baik btul...hehehe. Nanti on Monday kalau doctor suruh wat this & that, if xpandai buat boleh x bagi excuse "Dr, I wasn't able to revise coz I have been very busy packing up my things". terus ko kena hampas secara live depan patient. haha. budusss.....

At time like this I really can use my elder sis & bro-in law's help. Kak Ita & Abg satar!!! kalau ak mo balek KL from tawau, dorang la yg tolong ak packing barang. baik gilaaa! makes me feel like a little child. hehe getekkk. Abg satar la paling terer pack amplang or udang kering dalam kotak n ikat dengan tali rapiah. wuuu jasamu sungguh dikenang. rinduuu rinduuuuu! pastu nephew2 ku suma paling rajin tolong angkatkan beg turun dari tangga...adzly and farah. "Jemik tolong ambilkan auntie mimi punya handbag n specs atas meja".....wuuu drg setia membantu......rasa guilty la pulak sebab selalu janji mo bawak drg jalan2 tp ak salu malas. =_= pastu time mo btolak p airport, memang akan ditanya bertubi2 la kan.. "mimi xda suda barang yang ttinggal? passport wallet jam tangan wire laptop blablaablaa" makes me feel like ada jak benda yang tetinggal. Then adala phone call dari ak punya majikan (kak asma), maklumla bibik/ babysitter nya mau balek suda kan...."mimi ko di mana suda ni? APA MASIH DI RUMAH LAGI???KO INGAT TU FLIGHT MO TUNGGU KO KA??CEPAT KO P AIRPORT SANA!! JANGAN MAU LIDUT/LAMBAT BERGERAK!!" haaa tu dia cara kak asma meluahkan kasih sayangnya ngan ak. Pastu mula laa kan ak rasa seram sejuk. Why? one trivial fact about me is....I hate being on an airplane so damn effing much!!! bencik!! even flight 50 minutes can really gives me cold feet. Ya mainly because I'm such a negative-thinker I tend to imagine what'll happen if....u know.....nauzubillah....the slightest weird sound in the plane can make me stay alert and awake for the entire flight. I'll lose my ability to sleep during the flight (amboi sebut ability teringat rasa macam dah makan devil fruit dapat ability macam Luffy...eh diam diam jangan merepek!!!). argghhh when will I get over this!!

Tapi, sampai ja di destination, teruslaa gembira segar bugar!!safely arrived. If I was given a choice, naik flyte selama 2 jam atau tunggu di airport 3 jam. I would definitely choose the latter one. hehehe. sungguh hairan, kagum and jealous ngan orang yang boleh tidur nyenyak dalam flight. please3 teach me how to do so! heheh apalaaa bha ak merepek ni kan. bhaaa ok la teda idea pulak suda ni tiba2...mo rileks minda kejap....besok balek penang and my hectic life shall begin really soon....wuuu keep on fighting Mimi-Chang!!!!

the good old times. =)

Lately ni ak banyak terinspirasi dari blog2 orang. I was like 'wow how could she wrote such a fantastic blog? I think she's just babbling and maybe she didn't even think about the things that she said, seems like her tongue got a mind on it's own.....but she's lucky enough to be able to recall everything n jot them down in her blogspot.' fuhhh. salute! hebat betul orang yang boleh recall daily stuffs yg terjadi dalam idup diorang and most importantly turn the whole boring daily routine into something interesting to read. hehee good job! but I think I'm too far from achieving that state. Because I'm really bad at sugar-coating my words. And that's the most crucial talent that you need to produce awesome blogs. Hehehe berangan2 mat jenin jak la ak. Aiiii macam tersasar dari topik pulak bha ak ni.

Hahahaha ak teringat time dulu2...waktu form 2 @ 3...kan sekolah petang, jadi time rehat tu konon berkejar2 la mau p solat asar kan, sebab balek umah dekat pkol 7pm da. Sudahla ak ni lidut/lembab/lambat bsiap2 mo pakai tudung, jadi memangla ak akan menjadi mangsa denda cikgu BM ku: cikgu V (bukan nama sebenar). Ak rasa kawan2ku siap awal tapi sebab ak suruh drg tunggu ak end up drg pun jadi lambat sekali. Haizzz apala nasib kamu dapat kawan yang sungguh 'baik' macam ak ni kan. heheheh. Denda berdiri di luar kelas. Haiii time tu memang sumpah serana caci maki dalam hati la....aiiii napa jugak ni cikgu xda perasaan toleransi langsung?tapi apa kan daya mo melawan kan cikgu tu seram. hehehe. malu xpayah cakapla kan. classmates baik pmpuan /lelaki suma tengok2 la dari dalam kelas. I can see it in their faces macam 'nehhh baru ko tau sapa suruh lambat2 lagi?rasakan....' hahahah apala negative thinking btul bha ak ni....

Pastu teringat time budak2 ni mau main April Fool konon. yayaya ak tau xboleh smbut benda tu tapi ni zaman kanak2 bha..acceptable la kann...hehe. Ak & geng2 keras ku beli milo ais dalam plastik dari kantin. Konon2 baik hatila ni kan mau share ngan rakan2. Offer la ngan kawan2 yang tercinta. ''wehhh minum la ni milo (sambil buat2 gaya minum) uiii sedap pulak ni milo bha" pastu yeaahhhh pancingan berhasil. ada jugak ikan makan umpan. Adalah kawanku ni dengan naif & innocent pg mnum milo tu. And I remember it was quite a big gulp. Pastu mukanya bertukar jadi macam muka sembelit 5 hari. Dia keluar dari kelas & langsung 'buweekkk!!!! apa ni!!!! napa milo ni rasa masin gila????' hahahahaha memang kami mintak ngan makcik kantin tu suruh letak 1 sendok garam dalam milo...haaaa ambikkmuu...jahatnya ak dulu2...hehe

Time masok mrsm kan, rasa macam xboleh da mo hambur2, bikin onar n buat jahat...konon lah kan sekolah yang berprestij...yaiiiyyy...padahal sama jak. hehehe ak ingatlaa at one time ni, ak & geng baru masok mrsm (yaa kami masok lambat sebab kami 3rd intake if I'm x mistaken). Time tu ada election. Mau pilih ketua pelajar blablablaaa. heheh ak x campur sangat hal2 politik ni. behh perlukah dicakap? so all the candidates were like manifesting & promoting themselves...banner & posters here & there. So ada satu orang ni, Mr. A dia pun 1 of the candidate la. dia ada 1 banner besar dekat balkoni. Apparently he's not everyone's favorite person so someone decided to ruin/vandalize his banner. At that moment, secara sangat kebetulan ak sedang berdiri dekat ngan banner budak ni la. Dia cam terkejut tahap kambing gurun la kan tengok banner dia dah 'hensem'/rosak angkara anasir2 yang xdikenali. Dengan gerakan spontan dan sangat xdapat ak jangkakan, dia menghentak kepalaku macam orang karate hentak papan tu. (can u imagine?) uiiii. ak pun berasa sungguh blur dan rasa mau sula jak dia time tu. amboiii sesedap maggi kari jak mo pukul2 orang ya??? tapi ak just mampu marah & xdapat mo balas balek hentakan gabannya tu. But since that day, Mr. A you're included in my blacklist. Tahniah. hehehe. Tapi kan, ak n geng ada gak la for real rosakkan poster orang lain. haiizz gatal tangan betul bha....tapi kami confess and the good thing is kami tolong org tsebut buat poster baru. lagi cantik!!! kami macam rebellious dalam class time tu. suma cakap class rep kami bantah. aiii geng2 kain biru laaah katakan. (time tu kami lambat dapat kain coklat utk student mrsm, so pakaila kain biru yang ada). tapi last2 tulis surat apology and selit masok dalam locker class-rep.hehehehe misss the time when u can be a rascal without a worry in the world. =) i miss my friends!!!

Pastu kantoi x pegi prep petang memang xpayah cakapla. sampai xboleh kira da. hehehe banyak betul taktik yang digunakan. Sembunyi bawah meja la. dalam locker la. belakang pintu pun pernah sambil tahan nafas. tapi there's one time memang priceless & ak xboleh lupa la. Time tu ak lepak bilik elma. heheh baring2 n malas gila mau g prep petang. bukan ak study pun. bagus tidur. ngeh3...then out of the blue ada orang ketok pintu bilik. 'tok..tok..tok'  uishh macam cerita hantu la pulak. ak dengan slumber badak (due to mamai2 state coz ngantok) p bukak pintu & cakap 'em, kenapa?' elma pun macam rilek2, yala gaya ak cakap macam kawan2 la datang mo join ponteng gak kan. sekali tengok warden kami bha tu...miss D. Hahahahahah ambek kau pastu kena denda lari keliling padang..tapi denda tu xdapat dilaksanakan hingga ke hari ni sebab asek hujan jak...haiizzz lucu betul kalau ingat2 balek....by breaking the rules (and be able to get away unharmed) gives you this kind of satisfaction...like an adrenaline rush..hehehee =)

haizz macam banyak betul plak ak membebel..yala jarang ak update blog ni, tapi nah kau, satu kali mengupdate langsung mengencang bha..heheheh...inilah akibat having abundant free time....nanti da start clinical memang tumbuh lumut & sarang labah2 la blog ni. bha okiess babaiiiiiii~ happy 2011!

blur + bingung

hahahahhaha. WHY did i choose the picture above? xda kaitan ngan apa yang akan ak post dalam blog ni. cuma ak rasa pic tu sangat mendalam maksudnya. hahahaha (perv thoughts appearing)..ehem back to the topic. terasa sangat retard by the time mau bwat new post ni. yala x arif sangat pasal blog2 ni. bengong. hahaha macam humiliate diri sendiri ada gak. bincang gusdur la. heeee
But today i simply wanna jot down everything that has been bugging my mind lately. Otak ak ni memang da cukup chaotic tp things just keep on coming incessantly non-stop 24-7. bikin panas!

1. My graduation proceduressss. Very-extremely-excruciatingly tiring. penat!!!!!!! xhabis2!! mau settle kan this and that, but all the documents needed are hundreds of kilometers away from me. What to do? dengar2 bunyi 'grad' macam best jak kan. It sounded like "yaayyy da abes study da free weehoo no more examsss" haizzz don't be deceived. Ak rasa macam semut yang ditaburkan gula tebu yang manis, sedang ak menikmati gula tu tiba2 kna spray ridsect. exactly like that. baru mo happy2 sikit la kan enjoy cuti la kunun. jahat! Yeay thanx to my campus management everythin went downhill for me (almost everything la). kenapaaalaaa sukak inform benda last2 minute? memang ak ni paling "hebat" la kan manage masa semua....pastu 'PAAAP!' u throw a big stone on my head just like that. tahniahlaaaa A*MS. =_=

2. My clinical years will begin on 3rd of January. Haizzz sungguh berdebar sekali laa. Haven't prepared anything yet. Matiii laaaa. Cemana ni? cepat ambil mood study!!! ni x, asek main game main FB, membazir duit, menabung lemak n melalaikan diri. apa kes? huwaaaaaaa cepatlaa dapat hidayah utk berubah!!! Hope that ALLAH will guide us through everything.....give us strength to keep holding on....this ain't easy matter....once u give up, u're done for......heeehoooo.....sudala ak ni jenis yg xpndai handle stress....pffft~

3. I miss my family soooo damn much. I really need them by my side at the moment. I'm going through a new phase in my life right now....a transitional phase from being a student to a 'mock-employee' (clinical bagi ak macam exposure to the working-life already coz not 24-7 study ja kan?) So.....I need a piece of my big sis' or big bro's advice on these matters....I'm facing situations which I'm not really familiar with....so I simply need someone to guide me, to show me the way....so that I wont walk down the wrong path and make stupid decisions.....and I need them to support me and cheer me up when I'm at the lowest of lows in my life.....I miss them....I want someone to give me a big hug and tell me "it's okay" when I made mistakes.....to calm me down when I had cold feet before I sit for my big exams...I MISS THEM SO EFFING BAD! those little angels of mine (my nieces and nephews...) I miss their laughs, their silly jokes, their hugs n kisses, their voices calling me 'auntie Mimi!!'.....aaaaaaaaaaa....I'm getting all emotional when I talk about my family... :'( please please on my next holiday, I wanna go back to Tawau!

Comel kan? one of my apple pies!!

Those are the major things occupying my mind right now.....I really hope that i can handle all these things with ease....lucky that I have him...hehehe getek/gatal sekejap.....tapi betul la bha dia byk support ak..walaupun dia suka jugak auuuum n marah ak. heeesh. tapi kan, ak rinduu jugak kawan2 ku...bila laaa boleh bjumpa agy ni...xmau jalan2 di mall, just wanna sit down and reminisce the good old time....barulaa bermakna...anyway anyhow, chaiyow3! we can do this!!! memangla suma nampak susah, kalau suma benda pun senang. xda thrill la kan (uiseh kunun jak ni yaa berkata2..hahaha)..see you at the peak of glory!! No guts, No glory! Keep on fighting! my motto since......forever.hehehe

Friends.....?

One. Or maybe two. At least one friend per person. It's a weird thing if there's a human being living in this world without a friend. Have you ever think about this one particular thing...?Who actually needs who?Are you the one who need them, or vice versa? In a normal situation, it's a mutual relationship. If you call or meet them too often, then you're clingy. But if you give them too much space or in other words, 'neglect' them..then you're a jerk. So, how?Human's mind works in a very complicated way. They always end up needing someone...who's willing to return the favor..no matter how independent they are all along. In a nutshell, she's just feeling a bit lonely and want some company. A person who can share the tears and laughter together. She has been feeling very jealous of people who are constantly surrounded by loving and caring friends...A perfect friend is not a fairy tale, it does exist. It' just that....you need to be prepared, they may hurt you in a very unpredictable way possible. And if that does happen, quickly fix your broken heart, and it's time to face your wake up call. At some point in your life, without you noticing it, they will try to find you and eventually you will meet someone who really cares for you and protect you no matter what happen. They'll become one of the most vivid color that forms your monochrome rainbow.

family.....?

She's all on her own. All alone. It's Friday night. Hoping she can spend her time with her beloved family. Seeking comfort and longing for a warm hug from her big sister. But she won't be getting any of those. Not even close. Maybe she's expecting too much? Not all people is built with a family-oriented personality. Gonna get used to that. Just....she should just stop putting her hopes up. People nowadays (mostly but not all of them) tends to put friends as their ultimate priority. Well, at least in this girl's case, it goes that way.
Then how to cope with this pain in the ass? Create your own world. Sometimes, being delusional can save your soul. Get out of her way, sorrow, loneliness, insecurity. You'll be amazed of what a perfect stranger can do for you, compared to your very own flesh and blood. She'll move on. She needs to move on. She's a big girl now, and the other birds in the nest got their own nest to tend to. Just fly away and take a very good care of yourself. Find more colors for your rainbow, instead of waiting for other people to fill it in for you. Maybe she stayed too long in her comfort zone. That's why she's so weak, fragile, and vulnerable.
.Still.In.The.Process.of.Finding.Her.Perfect.Rainbow.