kamus hidupku....

ak selalu menggunakan perkataan aneh dalam penulisan blog ini...disebabkan slang tawau ak yang pekat cam kopi kapal api...so to express my feelings appropriately I would choose to use English or pure bahasa tawau...memang fail bahasa semenanjung sejak azali lagi harap maklum...So di sini akan diterangkan beberapa perkataan yang sering digunakan dalam blog ni...

1. Bha: bah, penyedap ayat. perkataan wajib orang Sabah..susah betul mau explain cara penggunaan 'bah' ni...!contoh: "x payah la bha begitu..." something like that la...susah betul mo wat contoh yang efektif.

2. Tabrak (verb): ni word infusion indonesia-tawau(ak yang aplikasi sendiri)..maksud sebenar adalah 'langgar', tapi ak salu tulis bertabrak: refers to bergaduh, bertengkar. contoh: "hari ni ak bertabrak dengan mr. panda"

3. Malar (adjective): ni bahasa melayu untuk constant. Ak selalu pakai word ni untuk describe keadaan yang selalu berlaku...macam seringkali or acapkali la...eh....contoh: "napa jugak ko malar carik pasal ngan ak ni??" lebih kurang begitula mksudnya...

4. Hampas (verb): ni maksudnya memukul dengan sekuat hati...untuk menggambarkan perasaan sangat amarah yang teramat...geram and rasa mo bunuh ja...contoh: "eee marahnya ak...rasa cam mau hampas orang jak!!!"

5. Bikin panas: very annoying, sangat menyakitkan hati seseorang. contoh: 'perangai mu ni bikin panas ak jak...'

6. Rodok (verb): penggunaannya lebih kurang macam hampas, tapi yang ni more to like aksi menikam..contoh: "jangan ko macam2 sana ah...ak rodok perutmu tu"

7. Kilik (adjective): gila2, sot2, berperangai pelik, unusual behavior...hehehe ak rasa ak selalu pakai word ni...contoh: "kilik bha ko ni...itu pun mau takut"

8. Getek (adjective): gatal, miang, pervy, ulat bulu naik daun dan yang sewaktu dengannya. ehehe getek tu more to macam gedik la...xsure dari mana origin word ni tapi agak selalu digunakan la

9. Sawan: serik, takut n menyesal mau buat something lagi...ni bukan sawan as in sawan babi ok... contoh: "neh tau pun takut...sawan ko kan sebab nyaris eksiden"...lebih kurang begitu la konon

10: Bincang gusdur: suka hati ak la, ak punya suka la...ahahaha xtaula dari mana ak dengar word ni...contoh kalau macam ada orang xpuas hati ngan ko & mula mo carik pasal, ko jawab ja dengan muka tenang: "aaahh bincang gusdur laaaa"

I'm proud to be a Tawaurian...hehe

 ada banyak lagi words pelik yang ak selalu pakai...tapi for the moment ni ja yang dapat dipikirkan...so, to be continued la okeh....nanti ak update agy....stay tuned bebeh...

oh dear heart...why so heavy...?

Beratnya hati...hati lembu ka apa ni kenapa berat betul...? badan memangla x heran macam mamak lembu tp napa hati pun turut memberat..? Exam baru habis...patut cheer up for a bit la kan...(mcamana mau hepi kalau malar cek jawapan pastu salah pastu sendiri tensen)..Pasni cuti till Sunday before paeds department....hmm so orang ramai pun berduyun2 balek umah masing2...mr. panda ajak balek KL...awal2 ak excited la sebab boleh sungkai dengan dengan kak pit....main dengan cikayo gila....tp tiba2 kakpit ckp dia mo outstation....ohhh betapa pedihnya jiwa raga ku...ingat cam mo balek amek semangat before start paeds (dept ni paling busy byk kerja pastu doctor dia selalu tanya soalan: mksudnya haruslah constantly study....wuaahh xboleh da mau berfoya2..)
Kesian bha si panda kalau ak moody mesti dia bingung....tapi mo wat cemana gak ak rasa lately ni mood ak tlmpau labile bha...cepat betul rasa sakit ati & mau explode ja...why why whyyy..Nanti silap2 mesti kami btabrak...dia pun kalau time puasa ni labile gak...owh...so x usahla kesian kan sebab da cancel each other kan...huhu...ak sedih..berapa tahun da ni ak selalu jauh dengan family...pastu end up sedih tgk org lain boleh balek umah...kalau org lain xbalek maybe ak xdala sedih betul...penjeles betul kan...huhu..nanti ak mau kerja di sabah....aaa xkira..ak ni kan salu sedih semua..at least kalau dekat ngan family rasa tenang sikit...iyaka...sekali makin tekanan sebab salu dimarah oleh kakak...dulu ak kuat x mcm ni...xtaula napa skunk ni makin kilik...x best langsung perubahan ni...apakah...hmmm xsabarnya mau balek raya....arghhh bersabar la  mimi ada dua minggu lagi to go through...warghh...dengar lagu raya semua...rasa sebak ja...kalau balek rumah tu rasa macam 'I am the king of the world'...rasa macam happy gila without a worry in the world...huhu betul2 perasaan yang sangat best and hard to verbalize.. raya and kmpul2 dengan siblings and friends...pastu my babies semua...makanan banyak gila di rumah..eh...huhu just feels like home sweet home!! sangat happy...
so please....chebal......THIS UPCOMING 2 WEEKS, PLEASE BE GOOD TO ME..GO ON SMOOTHLY SO I CAN ENJOY MY SHORT HOLIDAY PEACEFULLY!!!

I miss this

...and this

and this one too

...I just effing miss them all!

makan. eat. mandre (bugis), 吃(chi-chinese), 먹다 (mokda-korean), 食べる(taberu-japanese)

"'Gendang-gendut tali kecapi...kenyang perut senang hati"...tahukah anda makan merupakan aktiviti manusia yang akan release endorphine (this is our happy hormone!) sebab tu kalau kita makan kita cam happy and kadang2 lahap betul sampai ada yg tercekik hehe...what triggers endorphine release??

• Caffeine
• Chocolate
• Oily Food
• Laughing
• Nicotine
• Long Distance Sports
• Physical Injury
• Foods Rich in Fat or Sugar
• Alcohol
• Spicy Foods
• Emotional Physical Contact

so, drpd list di atas, adalah disarankan untuk makan kalau mau happy...hahaha makan macam dinosaur...wahaha nasihat ka lagi tu...

ahahah bukan ak yang cakap k...blame this cute kitty..ehehe

lately ni (yaka lately bukan all the time ka?) rasa mengidam untuk makan ak mengalahkan orang mengandung. mau makan semua benda ni!!!

(p/s: yang font kaler merah tu telah berjaya dimakan dalam masa terdekat...hehe)..huh sebentar lagi bakal menjelma jadi shrek betina yang obese...ngaauup.

1. Egg tart + milk tea

waaa sedapnya...fresh baked ka ni...mauuu bhaa... =_= menyiksa diri di bulan ramadhan bha ni hehe

2. Nando's

if dtg nando memang hafal da mau order apa...wuaaa I can eat this for the rest of my life..hahaha

3. Sushi and Mochi

aaaa sedaaappp....bestnya kalau dapat makan banyak beginii..nom nom nomm

4. Fettucine carbonara

sedaaapp gila benda ni....mana boleh dapat yang paling sedap ya..??warghhh

5. McDonald breakfast set

membuatkan orang berlumba2 pegi McD before 11am..cess

6. Murtabak Jawa Tawau

mak....mau tawau...i want Tawau, stat!!!

7. Yoyo Milky Tea (hanya ada di Kota Kinabalu! kalau x silap la...)

berkurun suda x minum ni benda...milky tea sebenar!!

8. Durian!

comelnya durian kuning ni...mau tanam satu di umah bole..?ehehe

9. Mooncake!!

comel n sedaaap!! memang hantu mooncake sejak kecik lagi hehe

10. Charkueyteow Sungai Dua...!!!

telur ayam dibasuh...i miss you so friggin' bad!!!auummm

11. Nichkhun!! (mode getek gila activated)

yeah you! i want you! hehehe gatal mimi gataaall!

wuuu rindu zaman kanak-kanak

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Bestnya kalau bole jadi kanak-kanak balik. But sayangnya xboleh. Angan2 mat jenin jakla. Sebab-sebabnya yang best adalah seperti berikut:

1. When I was a little child, I never give a damn about money. All I care about are my Gameboy, my comic books, my junk food, my Digimon....and constantly seeking attention from my Mommy..hehe

2. Damn..there wasn't any pimple on my face back then. Once I hit puberty, suddenly my hormone shoots up, there goes my sebaceous gland working like crazy, pimples popped out like there's no tomorrow. Now I tend to seek for various skincare (and not to mention spending vast amount of moolah) and I realize that I am experimenting everything on my face at the time being, Benzoyl Peroxide, Tea tree oil, AHA + BHA, methylparaben etc, you name it. Is my face is some kinda Petri dish or what? pffft

3. Of course and most definitely, I had less things to care about, my family always manage everything for me back then, I had less responsibilities. I can just walk away when I don't feel like doing something, and nobody will blame me because I'm just a kid. Ooh I miss that kinda 'immunity'/ privilege of being a kid sooo much. ehehehe (I think I'm regressing, shoot.)

4. Dulu kalau bangun2 tidur my sis paksa makan, pastu tengahari kena paksa tidur siang (sampai kena kejar keliling rumah dengan rotan lagi kalau xmau tidur). Kini, bangun2 pagi (kalau berjaya bangun pagi lah) dipaksa kemas rumah, jaga kanak-kanak,etc. Kalau terlebih tidur dimarah pulak. It's like they are telling me right on my face : " now there's no point of you getting so much sleep since you've hit the limit of your growth spurt, and you need to do something beneficial in this house, not just sit your lazy ass off.grrrrrr.." Aaaaa but sleeping is such a bliss.*huarghhh* =_=

5. When I told my family that you can prove the Earth is round by observing the way a ship moves (first you'll see the smoke, then the chimney, then you see the whole ship appears gradually), or when I told them 'mentadak' is called Praying Mantis in English, they would be impressed like hell. But nowadays it takes a lot to impress them. Selalu ja cakap ak malas study malas buat kerja but kuat main yadaaa yadaaaaaa.

6. I can release my tantrums and no one can scold me. (Dia kan budak lagi blablablaaaa especially kalau budak yang comel mesti score more.) Buat dajal banyak gila contohnya: kelar kereta jiran, lumur Minyak Cap Kapak di muka kucing jiran (aik napa nampak macam berdendam ja dengan jiran??), berenang dalam tangki air, pecahkan gelas/pinggan tanpa dimarah, conquer remote TV, etc etc....as if like I had a special pass to do evil deeds. huahuahuaaa (kalau buat semua benda jahat ni sekarang memang mintak ditendang or disembur dengan Ridsect tanpa kompromi)

7. I don't even give a damn about my physical appearance. What I'm wearing, how my hairstyle is gonna be, which pair of shoes I wanna wear, the need to restock my perfume, the creepily humongous urge to shop unnecessary stuffs that I always try to curb, I can be myself without a worry in the world.

8. Hari ni boleh bergaduh dengan kawan. Besok jadi best friend balek. Kalau dah besar sekarang ni, jangan harapla boleh sesenang itu. Mesti banyak makan hati, makan dalam, back stabbing, dengki, mengumpat and yang sewaktu dengannya. huuuuuu. Maksudnya macam banyakla kena jaga hati sudahla ak ni jenis x alert and hati kering. Pastu senang sakit jiwa and terasa oh it's so damn annoying. =_= but anyways I still love my best friends long time. =)

9. Constantly getting undivided attention from my bro & sis. I still remember my bro used to send me a postcard everywhere he goes while sailing all over the world. My sis sending cards and letter to me when I'm about to sit for any important exams. They never forget my birthday. Their priority will always be their little sis. Damn I'm such an attention seeker (only from my family of course). Macam gejala KKS (kurang kasih sayang) jak. ehehehe snap out of it will ya Mimi.

10. AND THE BEST DAMN THING OF BEING A KID FOR ME WAS.......I got my mother back then. She's all mine, warm, loving, caring and always able to comfort me, cheer me up when I'm down  =') hey I miss you big time oh dear Mrs. Siti Rahmatia.

muka buruk yang rascal.ughhh

lets get married!!! haha.

Ehmm. Kahwin. Bernikah. Menjadi seorang ibu? atau suri rumah? Jaga anak, kemas rumah, jaga keperluan suami, pastu kalau sempat urus keperluan diri sendiri. wuish banyak gila tanggungjawab. Ready for that? Live that life without bringing troubles to other people? Tiba-tiba jak muncul pasal topik ni. What's the season now, getting married at a ripe age of 23? that's the latest trend I guess. But there's nothing wrong with getting married when you are seriously prepared mentally, physically, emotionally, and not to forget financially. Go on live your life to the fullest if you can find a working guy as your husband. But the thing is, are you really ready for this? Need to see all of this in a big picture.Completing house chores while you need to cover all the topics for exams, frankly if this is given to me I am 110% sure I won't be able to do it. Not to mention arguments and and misunderstandings. Unsettled arguments before you go to bed would be painful enough to make you bleed you heart out. Things are not the same as they used to be when you're dating. He pissed you off, all you need to do is show him some water works (hey I mean cry a little bit) and there you go he instantly tries to win your heart back at any cost. What a wonderful situation. Honeymoon phase. It's totally different when you are both husband and wife. You have nowhere to run. What will happen if your attitude is too nerve wrecking and he totally snapped out of it? ever heard of divorce? of course that's the last thing you want to happen in your marriage. My point is, do you really think you're matured enough to go through all of these? Congratulation for people who do think they can make it. But for me, as a reminder for myself, I won't take this as a game. Marriage is a huge decision to make in your life. No offense to people who will be tying the knot soon, I wish you guys the very best of luck in the future. It's just that....all these commotions sort of make me feel like I need to make a change in my life, because these stuffs constantly remind me of the responsibility of being a full-fledged adult. It actually freaks me out. No more childish acts or thoughts....just serious matters. I've just finished reading what I've been typing....and I hate to say that boy I sounded so damn melancholic!! I just wanna express my thoughts and it turned out to be like some kind of a lamentation from a depressed person? hmmm......anyways just think carefully before you make a decision and don't rush things up!! kalau tersilap beli mangga yang masam, boleh beli mangga baru yang lebih manis contohnya Harumanis tapi kalau dah silap langkah dalam hidup, it's quite hard to fix, you see. I will try to keep on reminding myself about this.Till then, Happy Saturday.

berasa agak insecure & kurang tenang

hmm...sebenarnya mau cakap pasal kolej ak....recently I've read about one article stating that my college appointed several celebrities to be their representative/ spokesperson...the first thought of mine was like 'what the...?' I can't even see the purpose of this action....tiba2 ak rasa macam belajar dalam akademi fantasia pulak....perlukah ambil artis untuk jadi duta? ak x nampak any benefit melainkan untuk meraih publisiti murahan semata2....strategy bisnes la katakan...pelik....kalau mo cakap kebajikan kami sebagai student di sini sangat terpelihara, x jugak....banyak kali terpaksa berdepan dengan problem akibat management yang agak....x efektif & last minit. I think doing unnecessary stuffs is their expertise...they might have a PhD in those kind of thing. satu demi satu la hal2 yang xberfaedah diorg buat. xpaham betul....pelik tapi benar...too much flaws in their system to the extend that they can't be concealed anymore. aku takut 1 hari nanti ada hal buruk yang jadi pada kami semua....tiba2 x eligible to practice as a doctor....ak mo watpa time tu...? mo start balek from ground zero..? gilaka apa? mo jadi penyanyi gakla pastu tunggu dilantik jadi duta untuk certain university pulak. ataupun jadi pelukis manga/komik..atau bukak kedai bunga or roti. emm apa lagi ya cita2 ak..? jadi translator atau anything to do with language. ak sukak language...hehehe bahasa cina or jepun. haha...bukak kedai pet ka....hmmphhh. Ya Allah mudah2an ak sempat jadi doktor.....because I don't even have a convincing plan B to live the rest of my life. Orang cakap balek kampung tanam jagung (kalau mau tanam kelapa sawit ok x sebab lagi banyak duit hehe) atau kahwin terus (the latter one seems more promising ahahahaha). Tidakkk.......!!!

recall your near death experience.do you even have any?

hehe. tiba-tiba rasa mo update blog. memang sindrom update blog akan melanda setiap kali after exam. xkirala apa jenis exam pun hehe. emm secara random tiba2 ak terfikir dulu time kecik ak banyak kali mengalami saat2 getir yang bahaya. But maybe I was too young to realize about it back then. (warning: penggunaan bahasa Tawau yang sangat pekat....in order to describe the situation better....hehehe)

1. Ak hampir lemas. Serious hampir2 byebye. time darjah 6....dalam swimming pool lagi tu. haha xsedar diri pendek mau jugak masok dalam pool yang dalam 1.7m. walaupun xdala dalam sangat tapi kalau sudah xpandai berenang memang bahaya la. First2 tu ak rasa kaki ak xcapai dasar pool tu, lepas tu memang tenggelam la...ak buka mata dalam air....ak try struggle ke tepi sebab macam nampak ada tangga dekat2 tu....tapi xtau napa rasa badan statik n xgerak langsung. hmmm mulalah all thoughts of hantu air tarik kaki popped out in my mind. Aaaaa memang panik time tu sebab rasa cam mo abis bekalan nafas suda hahaha apakah penggunaan bahasa ini...ak ingat ak lemas la ni (seorang murid darjah 6 dijumpai terapung di kolam renang blablablaa hehe)..nasib baik ada kawan ak yang main2 dekat tangga pool tu...ak dengan lincah la menarik bajunya...dia ketawa2 lagi ingatkan ak mo main2 ngan dia....tapi memang dia penyelamat la...terus balek bilik dengan muka pucat...hehe seraaaaam.sawan orang bilang.hehee

2. Satu malam yang sedang hujan lebat, ak terbangun n rasa mau g toilet (ui cerita hantu la bha ni kan hehe). pastu kalau kita on lampu toilet tu kan mesti lampu tu cam kelip2 dulu kan kira cam gelap2 lagi la...ak pun masok jak toilet tu...sekali time lampu betul2 da on, baru ak perasan tepi kaki ak ada seekor lipan bara hensem yang sangat besar...besaaaaaar gilaaaaaaaa macam gabungan dua jari kelingking.pastu panjang dalam lebi kurang 15cm. uikk detail gila cara ak describe macam sempat ukur jak. tapi itula lipan paling obese n gemuk yang pernah jumpa. Kalau digigit tu nescaya innalillah la kali. kalau x pun memang merana la masok hospital. warna dia macam merah coklat. huuu just thinking about it gives me goosebumps.seraam seraaaaam. pastu pakcik ak dengan machonya menangkap lipan tersebut & beliau (lipan tu la) dimasukkan ke dalam botol coca-cola yang kosong. hehehehee.

3. Dulu2 time kecik ak sangat hyperactive nakal and sangat 'Dora the Explorer'. apa x, semua pelusuk hutan sekunder belakang rumah ak terokai. maybe sebab tu ak suka tumbuh-tumbuhan eh apa kaitan. tapi ada one time tu ak p main2 and tiba2 tergelincir. ak sempat berpaut dengan bushes tapi tengok2 bushes tu berakar serabut. kan dulu time belajar sains form 3 akar serabut grip dia lebih lemah compared to akar tunjang. hehehe sempat lagi tu pikir pasal mekanisme. kira akar tu macam semakin tercabut la.kepala ak betul2 di bawah...ak tengok bawah ak ada batu2 tajam n besar...kira kalau jatuh memang terhempas (terbentur hahahaha) di batu2 tu...terus ak jerit2 nama adek sepupu ak nasib baik dia dengar...jadi kali ni dialah penyelamat ak n tarik ak naik....huuu jasamu dikenang......

heheheh so far tu jak yang berjaya ak recall...yang lain2 maybe x significant....thank God I'm still alive.... =)

musuh dalam selimut. api dalam sekam. dan yang sewaktu dengannya

certain people they would do anything to see you suffer. xboleh tengok ko senang sikit. kalau ko happy2 and doing just fine, ada jak benda yang dorang mau kecoh2kan and report to orang lain. cakap ini lah itu lah. end up nanti ko kena marah padahal u dont even know apa salah ko. ak xpaham motif orang begitu. why? are u jealous of me? ko dengki ngan ak? well, keep on doing it. because u make me even more popular every time u bitch about me.Gila.go get a life. so this is what you've been doing? add me up on FB, go on stalking my life, so u can make a complete 'report' about me to my parent? even though it is some kind of wicked twisted 'report'? congratulations. u've passed with flying colors.Go rot in hell.

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Haluuuu...! aikkk malar pulak update blog kan? nampak sangat xda kerja. I am supposed to read a few topics on dermatology sebab esok da start new posting. Hmm memandangkan skrg ni siang yang panas and sangat x kondusif (betul ka penggunaan word tu? haha) untuk study, so ak merepek a.k.a syok sendiri la kejap ya. Eh before tu, just wanna say I'm quite happy today because I received a phone call from my bro...lama da dia x call ak...sebelum ak mengamok dengan lebih ekstensif lagi dia explain la before ni dia langsung xdapat coverage sebab atas laut kan. okay alasan diterima. But when he started to talk about his marriage, I'm like 'lalalalaaalaaa'. hahaha kejam betul (still in denial phase..haha). Anyway I miss u so much bro...welcome home!

abang rijal & hafeez

Okay back to the topic....bag. An essential item for a lady. even bawak phone sebijik pun beg bukan main gedabak. sangat jarang mau jumpa perempuan letak phone dalam poket. yala nanti bulging la apala xcantik la.(hehe ni suma alasan ak la ni...xtawla org lain..kalau ak bawak phone & wallet tp xbawak beg mesti poket mr. panda jadi mangsa utk letak barang2 ak. hehe). Jadi, kalau perempuan xda beg time berjalan2 di bandar adalah quite unusual. hmm kalau tiba2 org ada opportunity untuk selongkar beg ak, ni la agak2nya benda yang boleh dijumpai....bermula dari benda2 yang sangat common...

Okay...I really want that Fossil bag....huwaaaa

1. My Phone. Duhh who doesn't? (tapi pasni there's no way I will leave my bag unattended. Blame the blogspot question for making me reveal my personal stuffs in this blog hehe)

comelnya yang color baby blue & hijau tu...waaaaa

2. Wallet. again another common item. Unless kalau mau dibelanja oleh boyfriend setiap hari silalah tinggalkan wallet di rumah....NO! haha not me ok..

cantiknya wallet ni....hehehe

3. Tissue/ oil-blotter (kepada sesiapa yang xtau ni apa...this is a small blue colored paper, used to wipe off excess oil/sebum on your face). Oleh kerana muka ak super-berminyak, I need this thing all the time...! berasa bangga when I managed to turn the oil blotter into a transparent one (kira dah absorb banyak gila minyak di muka, cukup banyak untuk masak pisang goreng.haha hiperbola betul)

haaa ni dia life-saver.hehehe

4. My MP4 player. especially when I'm traveling by plane. Ni untuk distract/minimize my phobia naik flight. sebab ak memang susah/almost impossible to sleep on a plane..kalau hari biasa xdala bawak mp4 ni...

hehehe another life-saver. =)

5. Lip balm/lipstick. I'd look really2 pale without one. Lagipun cracked lips looked sooo unappealing.

love that color.... =)

6. Pen. Usually I'll end up looking for a pen everywhere, constantly losing it, especially when I urgently need one (time mau isi departure card etc.)

colorful...! dari kecik memang suka alat tulis yg warna-warni

7. Sweets (usually mint-flavored). hmmm sebab ak suka mengunyah maybe..?hehe

ak bukan mau wat iklan untuk mentos k...tapi memang suka gula2 ni huu

8. Compact powder. enough said. hehe

mau jugak lancome kan..ehehee

9. My beloved minyak kayu putih/eucalyptus oil/cajuput oil. Go google it. hehe I love the soothing scent...especially when I have a headache/nausea. Tapi ada certain orang xsuka bau tu...ehehe apa bole buatla...punya wangi tu camana la org xsuka.....iskk.

heheheh siap ada tanda harga & bear agy...my magic oil!!

 10. Pendrive. xtau napa kadang2 ada pendrive boleh sesat masok beg ak. hehe maybe sebab simpan lagu & mau pasang dalan kereta...tapi bukan selalu pun ada dalam beg....hehe

cantik gila pendrive ni...ntah berapa ribu la harga dia kan..hehehe

Hmm...I think that's all....tapi in the future kalau lepak ngan geng tawau ak kena bawak phone charger, toothbrush, facial wash, lense case & solution. sebab kalau lepak dengan drg sangat unpredictable kadang2 end up bermalam di rumah drg.time tula sibuk mau beli toothbrush and all. hehehe

Nicknames you have; why do you have them

I grew up with quite a few nicknames....ada yang ak suka and ada yg ak benci...actually it brings lots of sweet memories...hehehe...inilah dia nama2 glamor ak spnjang 23 tahun ak hidup..

1. Mon. The name originates from 'Doraemon'. Nama ni kakak ak yang 2nd paling suka panggil.(but skrg ak panggil dia eukybear.em.sbb ak rasa dia comel cam bear.ahahahaha). Sebab kalau ada Doraemon di TV mesti ak melekat depan TV sampai abis. kira peminat fanatik doraemon la ak ni. masok Quang Ming (a bookshop in Tawau, quite popular among primary school students sebab rasa mo beli semua stationary dalam tu.hehe) mesti carik komik doraemon despite harga yg agak mahal.hehe.

I still love doraemon till today!!

2. Ning. Wanna know why? walaupun I am about to buka pekung di dada tapi xpala ak explain gak la napa ak dapat nickname ni....sebab siblings ak selalu cakap mulut ak lebar n besar macam Ning Baizura. kejam x? made the rest of my childhood quite a misery. hahahahaha betapa mengamoknya ak kalau drg start panggil ak ning. argghhhhhh mengapakah...? even my mom pun panggil ak Ning. tapi bila pikir2 balek, memang time kecik pantang dikacau sikit terus terus tantrums....hahahah darah muda yang panas la katakan. ehm berpikir dengan lebih positif, maybe drg panggil ak Ning sebab suara ak sangat lantang & bising gila kalau menjerit. so sebab tu Ning (suara dia kan power n lantang ehehe apakah ini cubaan menyedapkan hati). Ingat lagi ak sampai bertumbuk ngan cousin lelaki ak sebab dorang kept on teasing me. hahaha apala pnya childhood. ak rascal time kecik jgn main2. hehehe. skrg ni ak lagi jahat suka kacau nieces & nephews ak. memang budak2 pantang dikacau mesti menangis atau kejar ak untuk dipukul. hehehe. aunty on revenge ngahahahaha

awan yang terpilu...(imagine ak nyanyi lagu ni dengan nada Ning yang terketar2.hahaha)

3. Babak/ Blackeye. this is one nickname yang lekat ngan ak till today. sebab benda tu memang ada pada ak and xpernah hilang. siapa2 yang rapat ngan ak mesti noticed, on my left eye, ada tanda lahir/ mole/ nevi/ discoloration or whatever u might call it. So kakak ak (and agaiiiinn) panggil ak 'black eye'. Dia cakap kalau ak hilang di mana2 senang mau cari balek sebab ak ja yang ada benda itam di mata ak. Pastu dia cakap lagi nanti kalau ak kahwin, saving cket eyeliner mak andam sebab dah ada eyeliner permanent di mata ak. waaay to go sis. silakan condemn ak. ahahaha such a way to express her love to me. Ada kawan ak pun pernah tegur: "mimi napa ko pakai eyeliner separuh/sebelah mata ja?" eheheheh rasa macam mau melompat ke dalam lubang dengan kadar segera....segera...segera....(bunyi bergema-gema) pada waktu itu. haha. (for reference sila rujuk profile pic ak & zoom part mata.ehehe)

4. Cathy/Kathy. Originates from my real name. KHATIJAH. hahahahahah apakah......mengapakah nama ak perlu di'modify' sebegitu rupa. xpala kawan2 yg penting kamu bahagia. ahahahah.

abaikan universitas sumatera utara ak tu.haizzz

5. Kajili-jili. Hambek ko. no clue at all kan apa maksud dia? hahahaha tu bahasa Bugis, maksud dia macam clumsy and kelam-kabut. Ni nama family ak ja yg boleh panggil. kalau org lain sila bersedia untuk dikelar. ahahah sungguh ego di situ.hehe bolehla panggil tp dalam hati jak ya jgn sampai ak dengar k. walaupun ak xsuka dipanggil tu. yaaa I admit I am a clumsy and unorganized person. selalu wat benda last minit, selalu tertinggal barang blablaaabla. pastu all the incidents and accidents yg berlaku time ak sekolah menengah (malunya Tuhan saja la bha yg tahu). hahahah sila jangan remind ak semua benda itu okehsss. bila la mau berubah & jadi lebih alert ni...uwarghh

ini clumsy secara cantik. pentipu bha ni.ahahah

ini baru betul. clumsy secara comel.eeheheh for that cat of course. kalau ak mesti kena bunuh.hehe

emmm.....tu ja la kot.....yang lain2 macam Mimi Chang, Chang Mei Ling (nama cina ak yg glamor time sekolah rendah only ahaha)... anyway just call me MIMI. that's my real name okiess. hehe

Day 15 (ntah hari ke brapa suda ni haha)- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play (actually bkn iPod...it's just my beloved Sony MP4 player..hehe)

ehehehe sebab xtau mo tulis apa untuk update benda ni....macam ada sarang labah2 n lumut2 ijau time ak bukak blog ni....terabai begitu sahaja...macam projek hostel ak yg terabai....janji mo siap by 2006....hahahahaa abaikan apa yg ak ckp td...ok2 here it goes.....

1. *~Asterisk~ by Orange Range (Bleach OST)

orange range

2. It's Over by John Legend feat. Kanye West

pic John Legend only..sbb ak geli ngan kanye west..eheheh

3. Viva La Vida by Coldplay

been loving coldplay since 2002. believe it or not..? with the song 'In My Place'

4. Misery by Maroon 5

I've been a die hard fan of Maroon 5 since 'This Love' first debuted...!

5. Zetsubou Billy by Maximum the Hormone (Death Note OST)

Light Yagami..i love L though...expect hard rock tunes from this song...

6. Song For... by Rookiez is Punk'd (Bleach OST)

Bleach OST occupied most of the space in my MP4..hehe

7. Purple Line by TVXQ

my changmin & jaejoong!!!hehehe

8. Bintang Di Syurga by Peterpan

lets forget about Ariel's scandal for a moment..they've made such good songs..!

9. Miss Independent by Ne-Yo

how can I forget my neyo..?hehe

10. I Hope by FT Island

my HongKi is waaay too cute...! his voice is awesome too..!

hee tiba2 berasa malu dengan list2 lagu dlm mp4 sendiri...kalau pasang lagu2 ni dlm kreta mr. panda mesti dia mngamok....sbb taste lagu kami mmg xsama...dia suka lagu2 yg tenang & smooth (bak kata dia lagu2 org matang)...dia migrain kalau dengar lagu ak..xpaham maksud (korea & japan) n music jiwa kacau....bukan main agy condemn citarasa music ak kan...hahaha xpala bagi can sama si kawan...kena mintak permission dulu ni if mau psg lagu2 bgini dlm kreta...huwaaarghhh

hmmmm. saja mau update. hehe

yeaay! hari ni ak baru abis exam. exam for internal medicine posting...which was quite stressful for all of us sebab bagi budak2 internal medicine, this is the 1st exam since start clinical years ni...hehe posting paling lama..3 bulan! orang lain da siap exam 2-3x lagi...heheh anyway harap2 semua ok n lulus... amin! study punyalah macam mau mati....yala sebab semua penyakit masok kan...argghhh macam zombie jak...makan pun mintak kawan tapau nasi campur sebab xda semangat mo keluar...hehe tiba2 si kai g send pic meatball ngan ak di FB...arghhh sungguh kejam...tapi baca2 pun macam xmasok ja....well this is the result of last minute studying....memang susah mo lekat...eleh kalau baca awal2 pun xingat gak...rasa macam bocor otak...pernahka rasa bocor otak?hahaha ingat belon ka mau bocor2...tapi banyak sangat laaa...ok better stop before ak merepek dengan lebih lanjut..hmm...Patient ak kali ni sakit jantung (CHF), darah tinggi (hypertension), kencing manis (DM)....kesian....rasa sedih kalau nampak makcik2 sakit begini....dia pun merelakan jak ak check2 dia....mata dia da kabur2...dia cakap tengok orang pun macam bayang2....yang lagi membuatkan ak sedih, husband dia da meninggal...anak pun xda...adik beradik xda....skrg tinggal menumpang ngan jiran....dia masok hospital sebab dia terjatuh time wat kerja rumah...sampai fracture tulang tangan kanan dia...kesian gila...tapi makcik tu senyum jak...ak xtaula makcik tu betul2 xda anak or anak dia xpedulikan dia...tapi...ak rasa sedih gila bagi pihak makcik tu...imagine that one day when u grow older..xda org mau jaga...sakit semua pun sendiri2....sedih betul.....ak just mampu usap2 belakang makcik tu..bagi dia rasa tenang semua...umur dia da 68 tahun...terhilang sekejap nervous untuk exam...tangan dia bengkak....due to edema...hmm harap2 makcik cepat sembuh...amin... :'(

sedih.....i hope i have someone to grow old with... :'(

okay, pastu skrg mo cerita pasal my bro...he's getting married next month...and i am going back to tawau to attend the wedding....to be frank, I'm not so happy with this....I just couldn't  elaborate much about it...it really stabs me in the heart...the best I could do is just pray for his happiness....he has his own life to live....ntahla....ak rasa cam agak annoyed...but what to do...that's his choice...tapi for sure, ak just excited and happy sebab dapat balek tawau and meet up with my siblings....being with your family is the best feeling ever! ambil semangat untuk teruskan clinical years yang super busy and byk cabaran ni....jauh bha tu tawau...bukan selalu boleh balek....the price of flight tickets are way too expensive, expensive enough to burn a big hole in your pocket...huwaaa.....alamak....pastu kena figure out ways to minimize my phobia utk naik flight....aduhaiiii..xpala....can't wait to meet my babies...! my beloved nieces and nephews!!

apakah motif pic ni..? very implicit...ahahaha

then....i wanna talk about my obsession towards anime/manga. hahahaha....sejak bila ya ak gila ngan manga/anime? sejak kecik agy!!! dulu gila ngan doraemon (still do!) , pastu dragon ball....dr. slump....shin chan....rave...gensomaden saiyuki...GTO....apa ntah agy.....then currently One Piece, Naruto, Fairy tail.....and yang paling paliiing obses is BLEACH!! hahahaha childish ka ak? atau ni normal? sangat normal kan...pelukis manga tu pun bukannya budak2....for example Tite Kubo (Bleach author) tu full-fledged adult kot. hehehehe ak xtau la....kalau tengok anime ni...ak rasa cam masok dalam dunia lain...uishh don't refer me to psychiatry please...hehe..rasa cam best and boleh imagine banyak benda......hilang stress semua....sebab ak xlayan benda lain...movie, tv shows...semua ak xminat...memang minat ngan anime gak...lately ni sangat bound to Kpop and Jpop musics...ak sangat2 teringin belajar bahasa jepun...yesss that's what i'm gonna do....nanti if ada masa lapang mo belajarla...hehehe....but it makes me wonder.....adakah ak sempat tengok ending of semua manga2 ni..? sebelum ak mati or pelukis2 manga ni mati..? hahahaha misteri nusantara betul...mestila sempat kan...oklaaa merepek jak ni......update lain kali k.....(padahal paling jarang da mo update blog ni...hehe)

Bleach- Ichigo & Orihime.. <3 <3

missing her.... :(

ak rindu gila ngan mami....rindu talampau smpai rasa mau menangis...ak teringat mami kalau ak rasa cm hilang..jiwa kacau...kalau mami ada mesti dia dapat tenangkan ak...ak xtaula...masok tahun ni suda 9 tahun mami mninggal...ak sayang mami...ak salu masok hospital n tengok org yg sakit buah pinggang n darah tinggi...exactly like my mami...ak sedih...ak tringin pusing balek masa n jaga mamiku sedaya upaya...dulu waktu dia sakit ak xbyk jaga dia...waktu tu ak baru 13 tahun...apa yg ak patut buat?ak sedih betul...betapa byk benda yg ak missed out just because i dont have a mother at this stage of my life..Ak hilang purpose,ak balek rumah xda org utk dipeluk n my heart seems like wandering around, it can't find it's way home...my heart lives in my mother's heart...i badly need her...bila ak susah hati,jiwa kacau,confirm dia dapat tenangkan hatiku..my sis n bro got their own life to live...mnada masa mau peduli psl ak...ak xtawla...ak sgt2 rindu mami..but thinking at d bright side,ak syukur Allah ambil mami sbb i cant even think of all the sufferings that she had been through for the rest of her life...rest in peace Hajah Siti Rahmatia binti Rajanna (27 Sept 1956- 9 Jan 2002)...i love u forever...i wish i can see u n hear ur voice again...even in my dreams...al-fatihah

ordinary people

Ordinary People lyrics

[Verse 1]

Girl im in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday

[Bridge]

I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

[Verse 2]

This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss then we make up on the way

[Bridge]

I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
[- From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/j/john-legend-lyrics/ordinary-people-lyrics.html -]
As our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

[Verse 3]

Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
maybe you'll return
Maybe another fight
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know baby youuuu and I

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Heyyy)
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

this song really hits me right on the bull's eye....

si lidah berduri macam durian

dia cakap salah sikit, terasa. dia ejek sikit, terasa. dia condemn sikit, terasa. dia ckp kasar sikit, terasa. auuuuuuuuuuuuuu. sapa yg salah sekarang? aku atau dia? napa ak cepat betul terasa? kadang2 ak terasa ngan benda2 yg org ckp, xkiralah straight forward or implicitly. secara tersurat or tersirat. sarcastic or x. ya I admit that I lack of the ability to counter-attack. org ckp jahat2 and kurang ajar ngan ak, ak just terdiam n maybe I did try a lil bit to fight back, but eventually it's futile. people out there are fully equipped with laser/razor-blade/spiky sharp tongue. sharp enough to cut u till u bleed ur heart out. or either way I hope I could invent a special filter that I can put inside my ears so I can filter all the harmful words before they can be processed inside my brain. kadang2, ak tpikir, napa org boleh cakap dengan kasar n mnyakitkan hati ya? kdg2 xpaham, knapa kita terpaksa berhadapan ngan org yg PMS? do u even put a big signboard on ur forehead telling people that u're not in a good mood today? so people will be more cautious when dealing with you? bullshit! yang tiba2 meletup xtentu pasal? apa salahku? napa ak yg kena tanggung tempias gunung berapi dari these kinda people? adakah ak ni tunggul kayu or almari baju yg xberperasaan smpai ada org mo ckp kasar2 ngan ak? ak ni tmpat melepaskan kemarahan ka? xboleh cakap bagus sikit? ur little temper can ruin my whole day. I'm hot headed too, but at least ak xmelempiaskan temper ak ngan org lain. bad words can snatch away people's bubbly mood. bagus lagi berkurung or diam2 di dalam kotak drpd terpaksa kena sindiran yang maha sarcastic. sila lah cakap bagus2 and please do filter your words before you even spit them outta ur mouth.

macam mana baru x mnyusahkan org?

 kamu pernah ka dicakap menyusahkan hidup org? apa perasaannya? rasa sedih ka? or mcm mana? how to get rid of these feeling? kalau dah rasa bengang n terkilan sebab dicakap mnyusahkan...? hidup yang perlu meminta bantuan drpd org lain...sebab tu la ak xsabar mau kerja...guna hasil titik peluh sendiri sara hidup...xpayah mengharap dari org lain lagi...berdikari so pasni xnyusahkan org lain da..jangan banding hidup dengan org lain...kdg2 org di sekeliling kita, drg lebih bertuah...ada parents yg care n sayang ngan drg....kalau mau compare kasih syg parents n siblings....jauh beza...sbb sibling, diorg ada life drg sendiri...they got their own life to handle and most definitely their priority is not you....kalau parents....kita lah segala2nya.....so, xpayah sedih or terkilan kalau hari ni kita kurang dpt perhatian drpd drg...inilah masanya kita buktikan pd drg, kita boleh hidup sendiri with the least of their help....sabar.....caci maki tu hanya sementara....semuanya perlu in order for you to gain  back ur glory....sabar n byk2 doa! ini bukan mau sindir sapa2...in case there's someone reading this and feel kinda offended..ini cuma peringatan utk diri sendiri n kata2 semangat supaya hati ini xterkilan betul....what the heck this is my own fuckin' blog so I have the liberty to write whatever I want....! (berasa stress dengan org yg terasa xtentu pasal...hey wake up dude, the world doesn't revolve around you)